Enneagram Stances: Assertive, Dependent & Withdrawn Explained

Quick Answer

The three Enneagram stances—Assertive (Aggressive), Dependent (Compliant), and Withdrawn—describe how we tend to move in the world to meet our needs: against, toward, or away from others.
Each stance correlates with a repressed center of intelligence:

Assertive (3-7-8) → feeling-repressed ·
Dependent (1-2-6) → thinking-repressed ·
Withdrawn (4-5-9) → doing-repressed.

What Are Enneagram Stances?

Enneagram stances also called social styles or Hornevian groups—are patterns for how each type typically moves against, toward, or away from people to meet core needs.
They also highlight which center of intelligence (doing/feeling/thinking) is least accessible (the “repressed” center).
Stances describe strategy and energy, not identity, and complement core type, triads, and instincts.

Learn more about the Enneagram Triads and Hornevian Groups.

The Assertive (Aggressive) Stance — Types 3, 7, 8

Signature pattern. Fast-moving, future-oriented, comfortable taking charge and moving against obstacles. Feelings can be down-prioritized in service of momentum.

Strengths you may recognize

• Action-oriented, decisive, energetic, persuasive, optimistic.

Common overuses

• Impulsivity, difficulty attuning to others’ pace or emotions, pushing for control.

Growth focus: reclaiming the Feeling center

• Schedule brief feelings check-ins before key decisions.
• Use time-boxed journaling to connect goals with what truly matters.
• Invite one trusted person to reflect impact, not just outcomes.

By type (quick lens)

Type 3 moves against what blocks goals;
Type 7 against what blocks possibilities;
Type 8 against what blocks autonomy.

The Dependent (Compliant/Dutiful) Stance — Types 1, 2, 6

Signature pattern. Move toward people or standards; highly attuned to what the moment requires; duty and belonging matter. Thinking is often over-externalized (what others need/expect).

Strengths you may recognize

• Relational, team-oriented, compassionate, responsible for the common good.

Common overuses

• Over-compliance, thin boundaries, self-sacrifice, analysis serving others’ agendas.

Growth focus: reclaiming the Thinking center

• Protect solo time to think for yourself (walks, nature, a “yours only” hobby).
• Practice self-authoring: “Do I want this? Is it mine to do?”
• Extend to yourself the compassion and limits you offer others.

By type (quick lens)

Type 1 moves toward “what’s right” to earn autonomy;
Type 2 toward acceptance by helping;
Type 6 toward security by aligning with trusted people or plans.

The Withdrawn Stance — Types 4, 5, 9

Signature pattern. Move away to resource within; rich inner life; prefer time to process. Action can lag behind insight (doing-repressed).

Strengths you may recognize

• Self-aware, observant, imaginative, insightful, calm.

Common overuses

• Retreating from engagement; ruminating; feeling unseen yet reluctant to step in.

Growth focus: reclaiming the Doing center

• Tiny actions daily (send the email, ask the question, ship the draft).
• Use an accountability partner to externalize momentum.
• Share one idea publicly per week: connection precedes action.

By type (quick lens)

Type 4 moves away from what feels missing;
Type 5 away from perceived inadequacy toward inner resources;
Type 9 away from conflict toward peace.

Time Orientation & Why It Matters

• Assertive often leans future (speed, initiative).
• Dependent attends to the present (what’s needed now).
• Withdrawn consults the past (memory, patterning) before acting.

Understanding time-orientation helps teams and couples set realistic expectations for pace and decision-making.

Stances vs. Triads vs. Instincts

Stances are tightly linked to the Hornevian model (against/toward/away). Triads speak to your dominant center; stances highlight a repressed center.
Instincts (SP/SO/SX) color what you pursue and where attention goes; stances describe how you move socially.
All three lenses can be used together—none replaces your core type.

Nuance: Types 3, 6, 9 sit in the heart, head, and gut triads respectively and can also appear “repressed” in that same center when viewed through stances. It highlights overuse vs. productive access (e.g., 3s lead with image but can bypass authentic feeling).

Gentle Next Steps (Therapist-style Guidance)

1. Name your stance using the table above.
2. Identify your repressed center and choose one micro-practice this week.
3. Ask for relational feedback from someone with complementary strengths.

FAQs

Are stances the same as Hornevian groups?

They’re tightly linked: stances are a practical, modern framing of Horney’s “move against, toward, or away” strategies.

Do stances change over time?

Your stance is a stable pattern, but you can expand access to the repressed center through deliberate practice.

How do instincts (SP/SO/SX) interact with stances?

Instincts color motivation and focus; stances describe social movement. Both lenses complement each other.

Why do Types 3, 6, and 9 look dominant and repressed in the same center?

It’s a teaching nuance: those types can overuse a center’s energy while lacking productive access to it, which is what stance work helps restore.